Behind the Scenes with D Generation X
by The Heartbreak Babe
Summary: The fans are given an insider's look at what happens behind the scenes of Raw, Smackdown, and ECW, courtesy of your friends at D Generation X. Chapter 5 Added!
1. Chapter 1: The Discovery

**Behind the Scenes with D-Generation X**

**Author:** Vicky (The Heartbreak Babe)

**Story:** The fans are given an insider's look at what happens behind the scenes of Raw, Smackdown, and ECW, courtesy of your friends at D-Generation X.

**Time Period:** Not definite. Anywhere between July 2006 (as opposed to DX's reunion in June) and January 2007 since Stephanie and her child are mentioned briefly.

**Note:** This is my first real chapter fic and comedy so hopefully it'll be good. I had an original version that I never shared and after I re-read it, I realized that it needed A LOT of work (trust me: compared to my other fics, it sucked) so I began rewriting it and it's SO much better than the original. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 1: The Discovery**

"Pass the fries, Hunter! I'm ready for the next batch!" Shawn yelled to Hunter, who was in the kitchen. Shawn, on the other hand, was slumped lazily on his best friend's couch, flipping channels on the TV in front of him.

"I told you you'd want more!" Hunter responded as he reached inside the McDonald's bag and retrieved a red carton of large fries for Shawn and a second cheeseburger for himself. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed himself a cold one...a root beer, that is. He wasn't the type to drink, despite the fact that he appeared in a number of Miller Lite commercials. In real life, his "man law" was to stay as drug-free and drink-free as possible. He closed the fridge and headed towards the living room where Shawn was. "Scoot over man! I need room, too! You have to respect a man in his own home. It's his castle! His kingdom!"

"But all the same, the guest is always right."

"Shawn, the phrase is 'the _customer_ is always right' and this isn't a store. Now hurry up and move your small butt over. That's the least you can do for me since I'm the one who bought the food."

Defeated, Shawn gave in. "Oh, alright. You won the battle, but the war is still up for grabs."

"Shawn, if you think you can start the 'war' by singing country songs all day, I'll throw you out and never invite you over again." said Hunter as he took his seat on the remaining space of the couch. He handed Shawn his fries while he placed his feet on the table in front of him. He placed his drink on the small glass table on the side of the couch and opened the wrapper on his cheeseburger so it's protrude a little. He bit off a huge chunk and allowed the mixture of flavors to please his taste buds. Hid mouth was having a fiesta gorging on the varying taste of sour pickles, meaty ground beef, tangy ketchup, melted cheese, and soft bread his one bite provided. Satisfied, he closed his eyes and slowly chewed the burger, allowing himself to savor the flavor. He even chuckled a little at the sensation.

Watching all of this in disbelief, Shawn stopped munching on his fries and started at Hunter.

"That cheeseburger is the devil." Shawn spewed out, trying to look as serious as possible.

Hunter opened his eyes and looked at his buddy. "But it's so addicting! I think I'm in love!"

"So you're 'cheating' on Stephanie with a hulk of fatty food? I thought so high of you. You're really let yourself go." Shawn tried to stop himself from laughing.

"Please don't tell Steph. It'll ruin our relationship! We'll lose whatever trust we have left!"

"Oh, forshame! Now you want me to hide your 'secrets'? And I thought you were an honest man!"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her, Shawn."

At that point, the roleplaying was over. Shawn and Hunter laughed at what they did and went back to their respective fries and cheeseburger.

Hunter opened his can of root beer and took a sip as he eyed the TV. "Hey! Stop right there!"

While Shawn was flipping channels, he landed on Telemundo, a channel for the Latin community. At the moment, Raw was on. It was that week's episode so it was pretty much delayed. Raw aired on the Sunday after that week's episode was filmed so by the time it aired on Telemundo, it'd be old news for whose who'd seen it live on the USA Network.

On the screen was a graphic of WWE's official site. Puzzled, the older man addressed his buddy.

"What's so special about this? We don't need to watch Raw. We're some of the main stars and we already know what happened that night."

"No, Shawn. It's not the show itself. Look at the graphic!"

By the time Shawn looked back at the screen, the image changed to the announce table where Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler were.

"Darn! I missed it!" He looked back at Hunter. "What did it say?"

"It said something about Coach getting a special show on Wednesday."

Shawn whistled. "Hear that? That's the sound of ratings hitting rock bottom." He plopped some more fries in his mouth.

"I know. We should check the site for more details!"

"You're right about that!"

Shawn turned off the TV as the two men approached Hunter's computer. Hunter sat down in the computer chair, opened a window, and typed the url to WWE's official site. As usual, the site featured its picture ticker with WWE's latest happenings. Among those pictures was one of Shawn and Hunter flaunting their DX merchandise.

Hunter looked up at Shawn who was standing over him and grinned. "Ca-ching!"

"Money, money, yeah, yeah! Money, money, yeah, yeah!" Shawn replied back as he did a dance to accompany the phrase Cryme Tyme always used.

Hunter turned around and looked back at the screen. He looked over at the small headlines to the right of the ticker and saw the headline about

Coach three headlines down. It read "Coach's Corner". Hunter clicked on the link and it took him to the full length article. Shawn leaned in closer and read a snippet of the article.

"In an attempt to give fans what they want, The Coach will begin filming a live TV show on Wednesday."

"Geez, I could've told you that!" said a disappointed Hunter, eager to read something more substantial. The rest of the article gave no more juicy details.

"Actually, you did. But why the name 'Coach's Corner' sound so familiar?"

"Because he used to have him own column in the old WWE Magazine. And get this: sometimes he'd end his column asking Halle Berry to call him."

"Idiot. It's one thing to _be_ a chick magnet. It's another to _assume_ that you're one," Shawn shook his head. "Coach is so egotistical."

"Um...Shawn? _You_ had a column, too, at one point."

"Ah yes. 'Advice for the Lovelorn.' I remember that like it was yesterday. All these ladies were sending me questions by the hundreds to answer," Shawn started to reminisce. "Those were the days."

"What did the ladies say?"

"Oh, they thought I was an egotistical idiot." Shawn said as if the fact didn't matter.

"So basically, you paved the way for people like Coach to do what they do today." Hunter said matter-of-factly as he finished off his cheeseburger.

"Oh crap! I never thought about it like that. I'm the one to blame!"

"Yeah...you are. And to think, you assumed you were a chick magnet."

"Hey, I _was_ a chick magnet! Unlike Coach, I can actually lay claim to holding both Jenny McCarthy and Pamela Anderson on my arm on two separate occasions," Shawn chuckled. "And Sensational Sherri had a crush on me at one point. As a matter of fact, did you see how she looked at me after her and Kurt Angle spent their precious time mocking my theme song? The lady's still in love with me! So I guess that means that I'm _still_ a chick magnet!"

Hunter shook his head at his buddy's explanation. "Whatever. Anyway, we need to find a way to stop this madness from happening."

"I say we take over and run things like we always do."

"Well, yeah. That goes without saying, Shawn. What I meant is that we need a plan. We've got to find a way to get Vince and Shane out of the picture. And Coach, too."

"We could always say that Stephanie's in labor."

"Shawn, something like that can only be done once to be effective. And besides, Steph already had her kid. Remember?"

"D'OH!" Shawn slapped his forehead as he repeated a line from well known cartoon character Homer Simpson. "How stupid am I?"

"But I see your point. We need to come up with something believable."

"Come on, Hunter. Let's put our creative juices together."

"Yeah...let's. It's about time we take over the show!"

From there, Hunter and Shawn returned to the couch and began shooting as many ideas as possible until they came up with the perfect solution.

**Coming Up Next: Chapter 2: An Offer They Can't Refuse** (With the introduction of Vince and Shane McMahon!)

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Again, this is my first chapter fic and comedy. Please review and tell me what you think so I'll know if I'm heading in the right direction. Thanks!

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	2. Chapter 2: An Offer They Can't Refuse

**Chapter 2: An Offer They Can't Refuse**

Sitting in his office, Vince McMahon was busy completing a pile of paperwork that required tedious attention. He had deadlines to meet and people to lord over and quite frankly...he welcomed it all. Wrestling was his life and if anything he did pointed to it, he met it with fresh eyes and a warm heart. However, he was often distracted by his clumsy assistants and naggy and obnoxious employees. And for some reason, he always found himself head-to-head with someone who spat in the face of authority, _his_ authority. There was Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and now there was D-Generation X. There was always someone to make his life more difficult to live. And if that wasn't enough, he always had to cool down wrestlers who thought that they were wronged in some way. Edge, Randy Orton, and Johnny Nitro were frequent visitors. He felt aggrivated by it all, but it came with the territory. The one thing he wished he could do was fire two of the world's most lovable degenerates, but he had to admit that without them, the company's merchandise sales would drop dramatically. He lost either way.

"Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em." He muttered to himself as he focused on the tiny text on his paperwork with his reading glasses.

Just as he was about to sign his name on the dotted line for a new merchandise deal, the product of his own semen, Shane McMahon, burst into the room holding on to his cell phone.

"Shane! What's the meaning of all this?! You know that I don't like to be bothered when I'm handling this paperwork! I told you specifically not to--"

"I know, Dad, but I'm on the line with the magazine execs for Playboy and they really want to talk to you."

"Why didn't they contact my secretary?"

"It's lunch time, Dad. She's on her break. I'm still working."

"That's right. Pass the phone over so I can speak with them."

Shane gave the phone to his father and stood by to watch and get a better understanding of what was going on.

"Hello, this is Vince. How are you today?...Oh, I'm doing fine. Just handling some business as usual. What would you like to discuss with me?...Oh really?..._Four_ of my divas? In one big photoshoot? That's never been done before!"

Vince's eyes widened at the thought as he glanced over at his son who held the same exact expression on his face. The two men could practically smell the overflow of money that'd come in with such an announcement. Vince removed his glasses as he became more interested at the offer. He continued his method of repeating anything interesting so Shane could take part in the monumental deal as well.

"Oh, there's more?...You want to have _eight additional divas_ for an exclusive WWE Playboy calender?...You bet I'm in!...Ah, yes, there's also a party at Hefner's mansion tomorrow evening?...Shane and I will be there to attend and further discuss this project in person...We look forward to seeing you all as well. You both have a nice day, too. Bye bye."

Vince shut off the phone and handed it back to Shane. "Son, we have to get home as soon as possible so we can get on our jet and meet these people early in the morning," He had already begun putting his papers away in his briefcase with the intention of completeing as much as he could during the flight. "Shane, this sounds too good to be true!"

Impressed, Shane nodded as he headed toward the door to leave and end whatever business he was in the middle of. As he opened the door, he turned around and left Vince with a few words. "Face it, Dad. This is going to be one of the greatest deals we've ever made!" He gave his father a wide smile as he shut the door.

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In a few moments, Vince McMahon and his son Shane left their private offices and met each other up. On their way outside, they ran into Vince's personal assistant, The Coach. Vince addressed him.

"Coach! Glad you're here! We just got a call from the Playboy magazine executives and they are giving us a _huge_ offer we can't refuse. We're going to be leaving in the morning so I'm going to need you to keep everything under control until we get back. Can I trust you?"

"You know you can always count on me, Mr. McMahon. I won't let you down." Coach responded, reassuring Vince that he could be depended on.

"Great! We'll see you when we get back."

"Have fun with your show tomorrow," Shane told Coach. "We'll be tuning in."

"Oh, yes. I will. Thanks for the support. Have a safe trip, you guys." Coach said with glee as he watched the two McMahon men exit the building. He walked down the hall, leaving the area without any occupants.

* * *

Meanwhile, Shawn and Hunter stood behind the wall giggling to themselves.

"What idiots! They believed every word!" Shawn told Hunter in between laughs.

"Those morons are so gullible!"

"Your Italian accent was so convincing, Hunter! I didn't even know you had it in ya!"

"What about you? That British accent was flawless!"

"'Four of my divas? My gosh! That's never been done before!'" Shawn said as he imitated Vince and began mocking his signature walk.

Hunter chimed in. "Coach, believe me when I tell you, they're giving us an offer we can't refuse'." He, too, mocked Vince's walk.

The duo couldn't stop laughing at their latest prank as well as their almost dead on impressions. They laughed so hard that tears began to escape their eyes. Hunter took the phone he had and gave it back to Shad and JTG, who were also in on the prank and laughing hysterically as well.

"Thanks, guys, for the phone. If they ever look at the caller ID, they'll never know that it was us!" said Hunter.

"No problem, dawg. It's on us this time, free of charge. It's the least we can do to help you boys out." Shad replied.

"Yeah, if you ever need our help, holla at 'cha boys!" JTG added.

"Glad to hear that. We'll holla." confided Shawn.

"Aw-ight. Keep it easy, HBKizzle." said Shad.

"Yeah, you keep it crackin', shawty!" Shawn replied.

At that point, "HBKizzle" engaged in an apparent handshake with both members of Cryme Tyme before the two teams went their seperate ways. Hunter, still puzzled by the "jive talk" that happened a few seconds ago, decided to ask Shawn a question.

"Shawn, what does 'keep it crackin', shawty' mean?"

Frustrated by Hunter's lack of understanding, Shawn gave an aggrivated sigh. "Nevermind it, Hunter. Just focus on the fact that there's two down, one to go. All right?"

"Fo shizzle, my nizz--"

Shawn _quickly_ covered Hunter's mouth. "You're not supposed to say that last part! It's a controversial subject!"

"But Shawn, we're _supposed_ to be controversial."

"Yeah, but not like _that_!"

"I don't get it. What's so wrong about fo shizzle my --"

"Drop it, Hunter!"

"Okay, okay. If it means that much to you, I will."

"Thank you."

"Let's go attack Coach!" Hunter said with the excitement of a little child anticipating his first trip to Disney World.

"Nah, it's only Tuesday and the show starts tomorrow. We'll give him a break until then. Baby steps, Hunt, baby steps."

"Well...let's go to an all you can eat buffet and treat ourselves to a job well done."

"That sounds like a great idea to me! Let's do it!"

At that moment, the two degenerates left the building, climbed into Shawn's navy blue rental car, and prepared to treat themselves. But what plan did they have for tomorrow's debut episode of Coach's new show?

**Coming Up Next: Chapter 3: Boarding the Jet** (A new character to be introduced!)

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Thanks for the reviews. I enjoyed reading every last one. Tell me what you think about this chapter. Is it funny enough? Am I developing the characters correctly? Did you like the little interaction with DX and Cryme Tyme? What about Shawn's jive talk and Hunter's misconception? LOL! Share how you feel and let me know what you think. Thanks for your time. :-) Take care and God Bless!

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	3. Chapter 3: Boarding the Jet

**Author's Note:** There's a few choice words in here, but there's nothing jaw dropping or offensive about it. I don't care for curse words personally, but it fit the characters I stuck them with, so that's why I included them. Enjoy! Oh, and to answer my anonymous reviewer (Phillip Clark), the behind the scenes tour will begin around chapter 5 or 6. Yeah, I'm not trying to rush into the whole thing. I want to show the planning process before the real excitement happens. But hold on tight, it'll still be fun to read. :-)

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**Chapter 3: Boarding the Jet**

With suitcases in hand, Vince and Shane McMahon headed towards their private jet. As seen on an episode of the now discontinued WWE Confidential show, the black jet was glazed and had a huge WWE logo on the sides of it as well as on the tail. Whenever Vince gazed upon what he called his "million dollar beauty", his heart would fill with pride.

"What a day this will be!" Vince told Shane.

"I know! I can't wait for us to get to the party and discuss these projects."

As they neared closer to the jet, the pilot stepped out and took his place on the side of the steps. They noticed that he kept his head low and his hat covered a great deal of his face.

"Young man, what's wrong with you? Don't you know how to greet us? What's your name, boy?"

"Hi, M-M-Mr. McMahon. M-M-M-My n-n-n-name --"

"Spill it, douchebag!" Shane yelled. "My father doesn't have all day!"

"G-G-Gordo. Gordo P-P-Perez."

"Well, Mr. Perez, it's nice to meet you," Vince said as he glanced at Shane and rolled his eyes, his way of telling Shane that he was lying. It wasn't the first time Vince used false generosity and it wouldn't be the last. "What happened to my regular pilot?"

"He-he's sick. He got th-the flu y-y-yesterday so I'm his repl-pl-pl-placement."

"Why do you keep stuttering like that? You're not one of those retarded p-p-p-people are you?" Shane mocked, not caring how harsh he sounded.

"N-n-n-no, sir. It's j-j-just that I never thought I'd g-g-get this c-c-chance to fly you t-t-two. I'm a huge f-f-fan. Please f-f-forgive me. I'm just n-n-n-nervous. That's a-a-all."

"That better be all. You better know what the hell you're doing because we have places to be! Now are we clear?" demanded Vince.

"Y-y-yessir."

"Good. Now put up our bags and do your job!"

"O-okay."

As Vince and Shane McMahon boarded the jet and took their seats in the face-to-face plush couches with a table between them, Gordo Perez put their bags away and got into the cockpit. He shut the door and put on his headset. He said the preliminaries, telling Vince and Shane to buckle their seatbelts and enjoy the flight. He stuttered the whole way through the introduction, ticking off the McMahons all the while.

"It's only a few hours, Dad. It's annoying, but it's only for a little while."

"You're right, Shane. For the moment, let's play chess."

Shane pulled out a new set of chess from a compartment under his seat and began to set everything in place.

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Back inside the cockpit, Gordo Perez took off his headset and spoke into the microphone that was secretly placed inside his pilot's jacket.

"Gordo Perez speaking. We're in the air now."

"You don't need to use that fake ass name with us! We know who you are!" a gruff voice said.

"Yeah...right. Well, I'm not trying to slip up, you know, and blow my cover. I can't ruin this for you guys."

"Fair enough, fair enough," a rough, southern voice took over. "Listen up because this is very important."

"Okay, I'm all ears, man."

"All right. You've got your team with you, right?"

"Of course! Vince and Shane think it's only me and them on the flight."

"Well, don't do anything without our say so."

"Yeah, we can't mess this scheme up." the gruff voice added.

'Gordo Perez' gave a deep sigh. "Guys, this is what I do for a living. I'm not stupid."

"We know you're not, but it still needs to be said." the gruff voice responded.

The southern voice continued. "You've done your end, now we need to do ours. We'll contact you when we're ready. Over and out."

The gruff voice sighed. "Over and out? That's stupid."

"Oh, don't act like you've never wanted to say it."

"Idiot."

"Your momma."

"What did you say?"

"You heard me. I said your momma!"

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that!"

Gordo could hear some mock slaps on the other end of his connection. "Guys, please! Some other time?"

The play fight ended as the southern voice replied with "Sure, why not? Over and out."

"Roger that!"

"Roger that? How contradicting do you sound right now, Mr. Oh, that's stupid?"

"Mind your own damn business!"

"Loser."

"I know you are but what am I?"

The southern voice sighed and ended the 'argument.' "Gordo, we're done here, okay?"

"Okay. Later." Gordo simply shook his head and looked towards his right. There was another occupant in the seat next to him. "Ready for the ride of your life, buddy?"

"You bet! Let's do this thing!" the man responded.

Unbeknownst to Vince and Shane McMahon, things were about to get a little interesting.

**Coming Up Next: Chapter 4: Getting Geared Up** (The final moments before Coach's show begins!)

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Thanks again for all of the reviews. I'm glad that you guys are looking forward to this and are commenting on it. I've gotten over 300 hits total, the most I've gotten for any fic I've written so far! I'm impressed! Getting back to this chapter, do you think you know who "Gordo Perez" is? I don't know, I just might've made it too obvious for you guys. LOL! What about that other guy who was introduced towards the end? Any clue as to who _he_ might be? As always, take care and God Bless:-)

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	4. Chapter 4: Getting Geared Up

**Author's Note:** No one has corrently guessed Gordo's identity. To my reviewer Phillip Clark (welcome back!), It's certainly not Matt M-M-Morgan. But thanks for at least guessing. LOL! Guess what? I'm going to be mean and not leave any hints. LOL! Hey, as rock star Chad Kroeger (Nickelback) once said, "If it was your rock show, you'd do it, too"! Enjoy this one! I've been busy with the college thing but I finally managed to buy some time and write this up.

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**Chapter 4: Getting Geared Up**

Johnathan Coachman sat in front of a burgundy desk wearing a brown Armani suit. As Vince McMahon's Personal Assistant, his new role in the WWE greatly increased the amount in his paycheck. His facial expression was the same it always was: too confident for his own good. Ever since it was announced that he'd get his own show for millions of wrestling fans to watch all at once, he couldn't help but get big-headed about it. He felt that Vince and Shane McMahon trusted him a great deal, otherwise this wouldn't be happening.

The cameramen adjusted their cameras, a lanky man positioned the boom mike, another man worked on the lighting, and the makeup lady made sure that Coach would look great onscreen. He smiled to himself, delighted to know that after all these years in working for this company, he was finally, as he thought, getting his due.

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Elsewhere in the building, Hunter and Shawn were sporting smiles just like Coach's, but for an entirely different reason.

"It's only a matter of time, Shawn. A matter of time." Hunter confided in his buddy.

"Can you believe it? In less than twenty-four hours, we will have gotten rid of Lois and the world will be ours to rule! Muahahahaha!"

Hunter simply blinked and looked at his laughing friend. "So you _have_ been watching Family Guy behind my back."

Shawn kept laughing maniacally. "Muahahahaha! Ours for the taking!"

"Relax, man. We're only taking over a television show, not the world...although world domination does sound like a good idea."

"I know, Hunter, I know. It's just that I feel so drunk with power!" Shawn responded in between his laughs and pants for breath. He gained his composure for a few seconds, looked at Hunter, and said nothing. Just when Hunter thought that Shawn had come to, he laughed again and fell to the floor. As crazy as the sight was, Shawn was literally rolling on the floor laughing out loud. "Muahahahaha!"

Hunter continued to look at Shawn as if he'd lost his mind. Well...actually, for the moment, his buddy _had_ lost his mind. He later thought against it and joined in.

"Oh, what the hell! Muahahahaha!"

And there the duo were, by themselves in the hallway, laughing maniacally at what was about to unfold.

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"Checkmate!" 

"Ah, you got me, Shane. That was a great game."

Shane looked at his watch and noticed the time. "Dad, it's almost time for Coach's show to begin."

"Okay. Alert the pilot so he can get the television set up. I'll put this chess set away."

Shane headed towards the cockpit and knocked on the door.

"Y-y-y-yes?" the pilot yelled out.

"Gomez or whatever your name is--" Shane shouted back.

"It's G-G-Gordo, sir."

"Whatever. Listen, we've got a show on the USA Network and it's about to come on. Can you set up the TV so we can watch it? Is that too much to handle?"

"N-n-no, it isn't. It'll be on sh-sh-shortly."

"It b-b-better be." Shane retorted in mockery.

Shane left the area and returned to his seat in front of his father. "Any time now."

"Good," the elder McMahon responded. "This should be good."

* * *

In the cockpit, 'Gordo Perez' spoke into his microphone. "Hey, guys. Shane just told me to set up the TV." 

"Go ahead and do it. Looks like they're practically done over here." The gruff voice said.

"Yeah, I see a cameraman stepping out of Coach's door so apparently, they're going to do a dramatic opening." The southern voice added.

"This looks like a mafia hit!" Gordo replied with excitement.

"I know! That's the fun in all of this!" The southern voice responded in a slight child-like fashion.

"Yeah, we gotta keep it all in the family!" The gruff voice said with a dead on Italian accent.

"Okay. Getting back to business - You know your cue, right?" quizzed the southern voice.

"Yeah, I reveal who I am once the show goes to commercial break." reassured Gordo.

"Exactly. You do your thing and we'll do ours." replied the southern voice.

"Oh, and one more thing, guys."

"What's that?" wondered the southern voice.

"Suck It!" Gordo laughed, knowing it was unexpected.

The two men on the other end laughed in response as well.

"Hey now, don't get too comfortable with those two words. We're the ones who made them popular." the gruff voice teased.

"Yeah, well, since we're partners and I haven't blown my cover, I think it's fair that I get to say it." Gordo responded.

"Fair enough, amigo, fair enough. DX out." concluded the southern voice as he took a line from Ryan Seacrest and modified it.

Setting up the TV so that the McMahons would be able to see the show, Gordo once again looked at his seatmate. "It's about that time!"

"Let's rock!" the seatmate said.

* * *

Looking on from behind the wall, Shawn and Hunter managed to get closer to the action than they were before. 

"Are you ready?" Hunter asked Shawn.

"I don't think I am." Shawn responded, playing along with the pun while pretending to be worried.

"No, I said, are...you...ready?"

"You're darn right I am!"

"Let's get ready to take over the show!"

* * *

"Law and Order just went off, Dad. Coach is next." said Shane as he got out of his current seat and sat directly beside his father. 

"Let's see what he has in mind." said Vince, who had full faith in his Personal Assistant, regardless of the fact that Coach had disappointed him too many times in the past.

* * *

Meanwhile, the director of the new show positioned himself beside the cameraman and began the countdown. 

"Five...four...three...two...one. Action!"

The show had just begun.

**Coming Up Next: Chapter 5: Taking Over Coach's Corner** (Just what the title says! Oh, and Gordo and his seatmate's identities will be revealed!)

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I'm pretty sure that you can't watch cable TV on a plane, but let's go ahead and say it's possible. Sorry for the delay. Thanks for reading and please take the time to review. Take care and God Bless!

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	5. Chapter 5: Taking Over Coach's Corner

**Author's Note:** You have demanded it and now a new chapter is available! Forgive me for the long wait. School is way more important and sometimes I'm uninspired when I have downtime. It's all about that perfect moment when everything just comes together, right? LOL! Anyway, enjoy this one. All the mystery will end and I think you'll be surprised to finally know who the two mystery people are. I warn you, this one is pretty lengthy, but it's worth the time. :-)

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**Chapter 5: Taking Over Coach's Corner**

The cameraman from the outside stood face to face with a clean, white door. On it was a square, black plaque with the words "Coach's Corner" embroidered in gold. As the cameraman slowly approached the door, it creaked open, allowing viewers to see a nicely groomed navy blue carpet. An enlarged studio picture of the Coach was the most prominent item, accompanied with two artificial plants. The camera panned to the left and the viewers were met by the show's host himself. Still sitting behind his burgundy desk, Johnathan Coachman rose out of his seat and greeted his viewers.

"Good evening. This is the premiere episode of 'Coach's Corner' and I am The Coach. Now I know you're wondering, 'of all the people to get their own show, why The Coach?' Well, I have an answer for that. You see, Mr. McMahon knows what he's doing. He knows potential. And he knows that when it comes to yours truly, there is no better person to have a show to call their own. I mean, after all, who else can you find on network television who's as handsome, charming, and articulate as me?" Coach chuckled at his last statement while believing every word. "As it turns out, I have full creative control over this program which means that I can do whatever I want. First off, I'd like to thank Vince McMahon for allowing all of this to happen. I promise you, sir, I won't let you down. Next, I'd like to thank--"

"He'd like to thank D-Generation X for being his very first guests for the premiere episode." concluded the shorter man of the aforementioned faction. His taller friend was not that far behind.

As the two degenerates walked past the cameraman and took their places on either side of Coach, the Personal Assistant of Mr. McMahon changed his facial expression completely. His once enlightened facials were replaced by an upset and frustrated one.

"Why are _you_ two here? Don't you guys have anything better to do than bug me?"

Shawn took out a small planner from his back pocket and turned to that day's date. "As a matter of fact, no. It says we're supposed to be here."

"Let me see that!" Coach snatched Shawn's planner out of his hands and looked at the calendar for himself. Sure enough, Shawn had marked _'Nothing better to do except rain on Coach's parade!'_ There was also a small doodle of cats and dogs falling from the sky in red ink.

"You can't be serious," Coach said in disgust. "Shawn, how old _are_ you?"

"Forty-one."

"More like five." Coach retorted.

"Awesome, because four plus one is five. Isn't that great, Hunter? I told you I could be a kid again! I'm finally old enough to get on those kiddie rides!"

"Are you're finally tall enough, too!" replied Hunter in a kid-friendly voice as he put his hand on Shawn's head to measure him.

"Enough, you two! It hasn't even been ten minutes and already I'm facing problems! Why won't you both just tell me why you're here in the first place anyway!" Coach said in exasperation.

"Geez! Well if you _must_ know, we're here to take over the show." Shawn revealed. Hunter nodded to confirm his friend's statement.

"Take over the show? You can't do that!"

"Actually, we can. We're in the middle of stopping this snoozefest as we speak." Hunter said.

"This is crazy! Where's Oliver? He should've prevented you guys from coming in here!"

"Oh, forgot to mention that." Shawn winced as he looked at Hunter. Apparently, it was The Game's turn to reveal the next secret.

"You see, Coach, your little director friend decided to take a nap in the middle of the hallway. Told ya this show is a snoozefest."

Something told Coach that there was more to the story than that.

"And what kind of a name is Oliver, anyway?" Shawn sneered while rolling his eyes.

"Who cares? His last name must be Twist." mocked Hunter.

"'Please, sir, can I have some more?'" Shawn said, quoting the ever popular character.

The founding fathers of D-Generation X snickered at their lack of respect. Coach, feeling completely helpless, turned around and muttered to himself before readdressing the duo.

"I know you guys are going to attack me, so just go ahead and do it!" Coach said as he closed his eyes and expected the worst. When he didn't feel any ounce of pain, he slowly opened his eyes and was surprised to see Shawn in front of him holding an old DX shirt from 1997.

"Join us." Shawn simply said.

"What?" said Coach, completely dumbfounded.

"Become one of us. Become...a degenerate." said Hunter.

"Yes. The few...the proud...the Marines." added Shawn.

Hunter looked at Shawn with a 'WTF' look on his face. Shawn met Hunter's gaze.

"Always wanted to say that."

"Oh. Fair enough."

Coach looked at the shirt and the two degenerates in horror. "You guys want me to defy authority with you two? No way! There's no way I'll turn my back on Mr. McMahon!"

Hunter did his best to make a buzzer sound. "Wrong answer."

Shawn folded the shirt and placed it on Coach's desk. "Teacher's pet. Always sucking up to get the grade!"

"Horrible." said Hunter.

"Horrible." repeated Shawn.

"Shawn, would you kindly do the honors?" asked Hunter.

"Gladly." Shawn responded.

Before The Coach knew it, he was struck instantly with Shawn's lethal superkick. He kicked him so hard the he briefly lost his balance. Hunter grabbed him before he seriously lost his footing. Hunter and Shawn stood over Coach's motionless body for a few moments.

"And I thought that Stan guy had it bad!" Hunter said in amazement.

"Stan? Who's he?" asked Shawn.

"That guy you kicked when I told you that we weren't controversial enough."

"Oh, _that_ Stan. Good times."

"Good times."

They continued staring at The Coach until Hunter broke the silence. "So, what next? Hey," Hunter gently nudged Shawn in the ribs, "Want to spraypaint Coach again?"

"No! Heck no! Never again! Not ever! I'm _still_ not over the fact that he wears a thong! Men like that should be electrocuted or worse - castrated!"

With the mere mention of such acts of punishment, Hunter began to look guilty. He made sure to agree with Shawn so his buddy wouldn't suspect anything unusual.

"Yeah, you're right. Thongs are stupid. Who needs 'em?"

"I'm glad you feel the same way because if you didn't, I would've had no choice but to turn heel and call off this reunion."

Hunter gulped, but continued to support Shawn's thoughts. "You're right, though. You'd never catch me in any of those," Hunter's gaze shifted from side to side. "Ever."

"Same here, buddy, same here." Shawn responded, not once looking at Hunter.

"So...what _do_ we do to Coach then?"

Shawn smiled mischeviously as if he had planned something for Coach ahead of time. He eyed his buddy. "Don't worry about that, Hunter. I've got a plan for Vince's little assistant that's worthy of being done by us degenerates. Are you game?"

Hunter chuckled at the pun and winked. "You know I am!"

"Great! I'll tell you about it while we air a word from our sponsor!"

Shawn and Hunter looked through the camera and gave off a thumbs up as well as cheesy grins as the show went to its first commmercial break.

* * *

Sensing his cue, 'Gordo Perez' took off his headset and put the jet on auto pilot. 

"Looks like it's time." He told his buddy as he rounded up his crew who were also to reveal themselves shortly.

"Do what you do best!" his friend told him.

Gordo stood in front of the door and listened in to hear the reactions of Vince and Shane McMahon.

* * *

"That damn DX! I should've known they'd be up to something!" 

Vince couldn't believe what he witnessed on the television screen. He cursed himself for not alarming the calvary and having a backup plan for his sworn enemies. He now realized that he was too blinded by Playboy's business proposal to think with a clear head.

As his father stood up and fumed over what he couldn't control, Shane sat down attending to his new friend: a migrane. He still managed to get on the phone to call his sister Stephanie, who was with their mother in Connecticut. Being that DX and Stephanie were not in the same state, there was no way she would've been able to prevent what had just happened. As it turned out, Steph and Linda were at home getting better acquainted with Aurora Rose. But for some reason, it seemed right to call her despite that fact that the business was not her current concern. He wasn't surprised when he couldn't get through to her so he left a text message briefly explaining what happened.

Without warning, Gordo Perez's voice bounced off the walls as he entered the room the McMahons were in.

"How are you guys enj-j-joying the pr-pr-program?"

"It's freakin' sucks!" Vince yelled as his face changed to an intense red.

"W-w-what's wrong? I thought th-th-this was supposed to ha-ha-happen?"

"Supposed to happen? Supposed to...?" Shane yelled back, just as furious as his father. "You obviously know nothing about wrestling, you retard!"

"I'd rethink that last statement if I were you!" Gordo snapped back.

"You have NO right to talk to my son like that! Who the hell do you think you are?!" Vince demanded, not even realizing that Gordo didn't stutter over any words in his retort. This was always a fault of the McMahons: they never paid close attention to detail when angered.

"You mean you don't know?" Gordo removed his hat (which had always covered a great majority of his face) and finally revealed himself. "I'm Eddie Guerrero, holmes! Orale!" he said, dropping the stutters for his more recognizable Latino accent.

At that exact moment, both McMahon men looked on in horror. It was one thing for DX to hijack a live television show, but for Eddie Guerrero to take over their jet while pretending to be a certified pilot? That was just...Wait a minute!

"When did _you_ become a certified pilot?" Shane managed to ask while still in shock.

"You have to be certified to fly this thing?" Eddie asked. "Oops! I guess I never read the manual."

"We're going to DIE!" Vince screeched as he grabbed his head at the thought of dying at the hands of his comical employee.

"Relax, holmes, relax. I _am_ certified. You need to learn how to take a joke, chico."

"Look, we don't want any trouble. All we want to do is reach a deal with Playboy. So can you please fly us to our destination?" Vince pleaded.

"Oh, I'll fly you around. But there's something you guys need to know first." Eddie said as he waved his index finger around.

"What's that?" both McMahons asked simultaneously.

"Remember that phone call you had with those Playboy execs?"

Vince and Shane looked at each other and feared the worst.

"They weren't real!" Eddie revealed in his trademark fashion.

Could this get any worse?

"So...what are you saying?" Shane asked.

"What I'm saying is that you fell for another DX prank!"

"But it couldn't've been them! We checked the caller IDs before we left that day and it wasn't Shawn or Hunter's numbers!" Shane confessed.

"That's because they know how to lie, cheat, and steal just like us. Right, bro?" This time, Eddie's seatmate, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., took the floor.

"Right." confirmed Eddie.

"You're here, too?!" Vince asked, already seeing the answer before his eyes.

"Why not? Where Eddie goes, I go," Chavo cemented his statement by resting an arm on Eddie's shoulder. "We always keep it in the family."

"La familia!" Eddie exclaimed.

"La familia!" Chavo repeated.

"There's no need to worry, holmes. It's just the four of us." Eddie said in reassurance.

"I need a vacation!" replied a weary Vince, who looked like he had just seen and heard enough.

"That's just great, esse, because that's exactly what you're going to get! Let's party, holmes!"

Maybe Vince should've kept that last statement to himself. Just as soon as Eddie said the word "party", streamers, balloons, and confetti popped out of nowhere onto all four men. Eddie grabbed two party hats and put them on the McMahons while Chavo retrieved two for himself and his uncle. Afterwards, Chavo briefly left the room and returned with his boombox. The Guerreros danced to the salsa music that played in the background.

Pissed, and a bit horrified still, Vince gathered enough courage to open his mouth. "Party? What party? There's nothing to celebrate here! DX is taking over Coach's show and I'm not there to do anything about it!"

"That's the whole point, chico!" Chavo said as he took a seat beside the older McMahon. "So sit back and relax."

"Relax? With you two?! That's impossible!" Vince said in defiance.

Eddie stopped dancing and looked at Vince. The one-time WWE Champion's demeanor changed as he now sported a sad face. "Yeah, he's kinda right. Four people don't make a party," his cheerful expression returned. "But this many people will!"

On cue, a handful of Raw, Smackdown, and ECW Superstars came out. Among them was Vince McMahon's sworn enemy, Stone Cold Steve Austin, who led the gang from the cockpit.

"Oh hell yeah!" Steve exclaimed, while drinking a beer and purposefully soaking himself with whatever contents missed his mouth.

"Oh hell no! This isn't the kind of vacation I had in mind!" Vince gulped as he mindlessly tugged his ear, a gesture he inadvertently made famous during the Attitude era.

Shane, who'd sat in silence for a short while, eyed Eddie. "I thought you said that it was just the four of us."

"Oh, when I said that, I forgot to mention one thing..." Eddie gave off his trademark smile while the McMahons feared that he'd say two words that were just as bad as DX's 'Suck It'.

"I LIED!"

Boy, were the McMahons in for it!

**Coming Up Next: Chapter 6: Special Report!** (We check up with DX again!)

* * *

So, how did you guys feel about this chapter? I know it was pretty lengthy, but it was for a good reason. Would you have ever guessed the two guys to be Eddie and Chavo? LOL! I had more fun writing this chapter than the ones before it. I hope you enjoyed it. I also hope that it was a nice distraction from all the chaos associated with Chris Benoit recently. Take care and God Bless!

* * *


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